While we think our squads will always stick together, its more than likely you will move friend groups pretty frequently in your teen and adult years. But one person is almost always in a group with you: the fat friend.
Before I get darted with, “That’s so rude you can’t say that!” let me just say, I was once there, and I get it. Feeling like you’re the fat friend isn’t easy and sometimes could feel like this is the worst thing in the world. I was at my highest weight my freshman year of high school, and compared to my friends, I felt the ugliest out of all of them. They usually told me about the guys that they were talking to, and whatever kind of compliment they got that day, and I sat there listening wishing I had what they had. If you’ve had a similar experience, you may relate to some of the following:
- Not being able to share each other’s clothes
If your friend had a cute top, or a cute skirt you really wanted to borrow, but you know that they were a size smaller than you and it would just feel too embarrassing to try on.
2. When your friends complain about how “fat” they are to you
if you think you’re fat… what does that make me?!
3. The guy that you have a huge crush on.. Has a crush on your friend
It’s not his fault that he has feelings for someone else, but you can’t help but think that maybe if you were just a liitttlee bit smaller, he’d like you back too.
These are just some examples on what it can feel like when you think you are the fat friend. But what does it even mean to be the fat friend? Were you designated with that name? Or did you just come up with that conclusion yourself? When you say that you are the fat friend, you are putting your entire identity on what your weight is, and not in who you really are. Your friends didn’t become friends with you because they thought you would match their squad, you became friends because you were nice, friendly, funny, playful, loyal, adventurous, have similar interests, and the list can go on and on. But becoming your friend solely because in comparison you might look bigger, is not even in consideration. Why does a number have more say in who you are than everything else you have to offer?
My hope is that you destroy the concept of being the fat friend. You can always change in your appearance, but you need to change how you think of yourself as well. Just because you’re bigger or taller than your friends, doesn’t make you less worthy or less beautiful. Whatever stage you’re in with your body, learn to love it! We only get one in this lifetime. There is so much joy in this life, you don’t want to waste opportunities because of insecurities. The only thing that can make you ugly is your heart. Don’t focus on being the fat friend, focus on being a great friend. Share love, kindness, compassion, laughter, tears, memories, and happiness. In the end, you will become stronger out of it, and you’ll be able to embrace and simply love being yourself, regardless of weight.